Thursday, March 14, 2013

Today I have successfully lost one of my two car keys. Yap, after several unsuccessful attempts over the past few years, I have finally done the misdeed. It's not like I was trying to set a record in the Guinness Book of Records in a category penned after me. I wasn't going for "the most distracted woman" award with this final offense. This ability to misplace/lose/place out of sequence/miss the obvious trait has followed me ever since I can remember, and not without causing me grief. I remember a time in high school when my English teacher was going through our book review essays and discussing our ideas. His comment on the margin of my writing was this: "great essay as usual, but you completely missed the point". I have carried that latter part of the phrase with me for many years. I have tucked it deep within my heart, along with other "proof" demonstrating my deficiencies. What started with a mustard seed thought had ballooned into a mammoth tree of condemnation stretching over my soul. One such failure was not enough to dismantle my confidence, and thus failure never traveled alone. In a situation as this one of the missing key, my heart would remind of my other faults, to the point where I would crumple in a ruinous jar that couldn't hold much content. I have circled this dessert of condemnation many times, and have camped my in the "valley of despot" for seasons of my life.

Not today. Yes, I am grieved by my apparent negligence and the inability to retrieve my keys. I am tempted to slouch my soul under the whip of accusing voices and once again retreat into my "rightful" place. However, I have learned over the past few years that I am more than the sum total of my failures. My value is not diminished by the cracks and deformities of my vessel. My value is determined by God! He sees me as precious, whole, and highly treasured. He sees me covered in the righteousness of Jesus Christ. I am full of beauty in His eyes, because I am clothed with Christ. He has placed His seal of approval upon me the moment I threw off my tattered garment of sin and accepted His call to belong. To belong not to an organization, or a religious affiliation, or a club that assigns righteousness based on the sanguineous scars of stair-climbing my way to heaven. He called me belong to the very family of God, where He is my father and Jesus Christ is both my Brother and my Friend. I am still praying to find my keys, hoping for a miracle. Until then, I wait and rest, being persuaded that my Father still delights in me.

 "But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name" (John 1:13a)

 “The Lord takes pleasure in those who fear him, in those who hope in his steadfast love.” (Psalm 147:11)

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