I sat near the window staring at the once blue sky, now stained in particulate gray and orange hues. The day was young and hot, but the sun was hidden by the particles the fires breathe in their burning furry. The indoor air was stifling and unpleasant, teasing my trachea with a dry cough. Despite experiencing the fires of near and distant forests for a few years now, we were caught again without an air purifier. My airways were steadily protesting. "Costco will fix that tomorrow", I made a mental note.
Even though the air quality index had shifted a few digits to the right, we were in a fairly clean air bubble compared to my family. My sister's house is in the belly of the inferno, and for days she was left to wonder whether her home would survive the rapidly-encroaching blaze. In the rush to comply with the mandatory evacuation, she grabbed a few things for an overnight departure - or so she thought. The one overnight turned into several days, and she is still not home. Her few things proved insufficient for the unexpected exile, and she had to replenish her exile wardrobe with some necessary finds.
I thought about what I would take if the rush to evacuate came at an equally inopportune time as hers had come. I looked at my newly-covered Bible, its pages glowing with life eternal and great and precious promises. The Word will go first -anytime, anywhere - that was for sure. The books will stay - there might be blue horizons beyond the burning skies where letters and tea blend in a sweet marriage of senses to expand the wisdom of the soul. I scanned my wardrobe with my mind's eye, and I regretted that my green skirt would be ashes in this imaginary fire. For the last few years, green had become the color of my soul, and I treasured its hues in living nature and inanimate matter, hence my green skirt.
I scanned my possessions with my mind's eye, a dull sadness graying my thoughts. I spent so much time throughout my relatively short life acquiring things that brought momentary pleasure. I scoured stores and websites to fill an imaginary "need" to complement other imaginary "needs". And here stood a potential fire, hungry and devouring, waiting to devastate without discernment my life's acquisitions in a few brief hours...
Up to this moment, my sister's house has been spared the deadly tongue of this fire. Thankfully, the flames that consumed the books and the minutiae of my life remained confined to my imagination. The fire was a living threat to thousands of people including my loved ones, so it is not a far-fetched exercise to explore the "what" of the "if" happening at my doorstep. In fact, it seems like the entire globe is engulfed in fire - and the reasons are not as simplistic as the evening news would like us to believe - but that is the subject of a future rumination.
As I sit here writing under the soft hum of our newly-acquired air purifier, I am thankful that the atmosphere is slowly clearing and the air is becoming easier to breathe. The sky is still an amorphous, ashy ceiling hiding the horizon. I ventured for a walk tonight, and the absence of a cough confirmed that the air quality is improving, in case I needed a reliable confirmation. It seems like our area has been spared the way of our faraway neighbors who are still praying for a breath of clean air.
I am thankful that this deeply-wounded planet is not my terminal destination, and this structure that houses my possessions is not my home. I am made for eternity - made to dwell in a place so beautiful that the outer limits of my imagination cannot touch. I am made to love and be loved by God - to know His peace that passes all understanding in the midst of untold turmoil and tribulation. We are all made for Him - to know and to be known by Him. To be loved without limits in spite of our failings and our deeply-seated insecurities, and one day, when we breathe our last spoonful of air, to be more alive than ever in His presence. Today, when what we know is continually distorted or erased by the day's agenda, the love of God made flesh in Christ is the best news - and it is for everyone.
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life". (John 3:16)